long post

if you really wanna support a cause you’ll have to be fully dedicated to it no matter what anyone says. as someone who’s living in a Muslim household i understand where you’re coming from hence Muslims from the older generations are even more closed minded about this case than our generation, they’ll make jokes and act so homophobic casually which comes off really triggering a lot of times. telling them what they’re doing is wrong will only tick them off and cause you unnecessary migraines because some old people didn’t know how to stfu for a few seconds.

as a kid i was never really your standard Muslim™. the idea of homosexuality never really bothered me but i never really knew why, teachers would always warn us about it, saying loving the same gender will lead you to hell or some other shit. hearing them say that really scared me but i never knew why because fuck i was a kid & i was still finding new aspects about my self like how I’ve always thought girls were pretty & how i’d always check out the girl when looking at a couple. it was the first time i had a gut feeling that my attraction towards girls isnt under society’s “normal” definition. so yes when society, my own people. were telling me that an aspect in me was “wrong” and that it’ll literally end up putting me in hell, i was fucking terrified. i tried keeping it low, tried telling my self that i’m just mixing up my emotions, trying to convince my self that it was just hormones, “coming of age does that to you right? ahaha”, but deep down i was never really convinced by my own lies because i knew what i was, i knew. i was trying to hide behind a mask, a portrait of my society’s “perfect female” standard that i drew myself because i thought that if i was the slightest bit different than what my society calls “good” i’d be invalid, an outcast. i was trying so hard to fit in to the point where i didn’t realize that i was only hurting myself. yes my “family” and “friends” were happy but i never was. at some point i got tired, so tired that i considered taking my own life away which is considered “the sin of all sins” in Islam but i didn’t care because i was told that i’d go to hell for not being under my society’s heteronormative standards. here i am though. still very gay and very alive. i would never be here if it wasn’t for some of my online friends, for when i was outcast-ed by my society, they took me in and made me feel like i belonged. for once i felt like, maybe being different isn’t that bad after all. looking back at it now. i can 100% assure you that yes; being different is really not bad whatsoever.

at some point you’ll have to detach your believes from any emotional connection you have with your family because if you don’t you’ll be hurt a lot by all the shit they say. i know that no matter what, you cant fully detach your morale connection from them. but with time it’ll start hurting less. so if you really believe that everyone should have equal rights no matter what their sexuality, gender, ethnicity, color & religion is then you’ll support them with all you’ve got no matter what your society thinks of you for doing so & no matter what anyone around you tells you because if you believe that something is right you’ll give it your all to enlighten people & show them stuff from your perspective. you might come across some really close minded people who their brain capacity cant process your words because their heads are way far up their own asses to actually listen but you’ll have to be mature about it. so what if a couple of low life trash are too blind to see what you see. their opinion doesn’t even matter anyway because if you make someone feel dehumanized by discriminating them & trying to mold them into society’s “normal” image then fuck you. you don’t get to be respected nor do you get to have your own opinion because you’re suppressing someone from being their true self. be someone who makes people feel comfortable in being their true self in front of you. don’t be the dickhead who’s trying to make their imaginary perfect society into a real thing because fuck you’re gonna have a terrible fucking life lmao.